theatrical_muse: Awesome.

ooc: In the FM/TM 'verse, Remus is back (a year and a half after the events of the Deathly Hallows (but before the epilogue, obv)) and he's living with Sirius, Harry and Teddy in Grimmauld. And, since theirteddy really does use the word a lot, I actually managed to get the response to fit Remus. ;)


There were certain holidays that, if there was no one to share them with or to make them special for, it was absolutely pointless to celebrate them. For many years Christmas was one of them. Almost for that long, Halloween was also one of them.

Ever since that night when Lily and James were killed, Remus hated Halloween. Just the thought of it would make his stomach clench and his throat to dry up. He wouldn't think of candy or costumes; he would think of the day when his world shattered and fell apart. Their world, because it hadn't been just his the one that had never been the same again. Lily and James were killed because Peter had betrayed them. Sirius had gone to Azkaban. Harry had been turned over to his Muggle relatives. Remus had been left alone, and the reminder of the day was always something that pressed tightly against his chest. There was no running away from that particular fact.

Now there was a young child, however, that was looking at the holiday with fresh eyes, especially now that he was old enough to look forward to it. His son wanted nothing more than to dress up and collect as many sweets as he could. Whenever Sirius, Harry or himself would take him to a shop, without fail there was some new decoration that caught his attention, and seeing the happiness in his eyes made it hard to not at least smile along with him. The adults in Teddy's life may have been scarred for life on Halloween, but to him things were exciting, and bright, and new.

Or "awesome," as Teddy himself kept saying excitedly whenever someone would ask how Halloween would be this year. Remus had come to learn that, when his son would hear a word that he liked, he'd use it as frequently as possible. 'Awesome' was the word of choice lately, it seemed.

Halloween may not be Remus' favourite holiday, but he'd do his best so his son's could be as "awesome" as the toddler predicted it would be.

writers_muses: 57.1.D. "I'm sorry that I'm not exactly what you

[LOCKED]

Every now and then I get plagued with these...annoying bouts of inadequacy. I doubt absolutely everything around me, and it is unfair to those in my life because I am well aware that those feelings should not be given a second thought.

Yet...

Well, it happens. No one gives me a reason to think them. No one even hints at it at all - on the contrary, everything they do shows that obviously they do care about me, and want me in their lives.

Yet...

It comes with every full moon. It comes even more so on the mornings after, when I am too worn out to do much. With each transformation that passes my body is getting more and more tired of them, and all I keep thinking is that no one should have to deal with having to take care of me. It is a burden that no one needs. It is completely unfair for them to have to pause their lives for me, and... I don't know. I hate that it happens. I hate that they have to deal with it, and be burdened by it. By me. I can already hear everyone adamantly saying that I am not a burden, but I cannot help but think of it that way.

I am grateful that they do not think the same way that I do. There is just this...annoying little voice inside me, this never-ending insecurity that comes on those full moons, that wonders how long it will be until they do.