worldfromafar: ([...])
worldfromafar ([personal profile] worldfromafar) wrote2008-06-02 02:36 am

[livejournal.com profile] mind_the_muse: Have you ever been betrayed by someone you love

ooc: Locked because good luck with getting Remus to vent in public, even about this. >.> In-game he has also been very angry, so that's why he more or less ranted. Even if others can probably guess just how angry he is about Peter's betrayal, this is for mun knowledge.

*locked*

...what is there to write about?

We loved him. He was our family, and we loved him, but that was not enough. It was never enough. He sold Lily and James to Voldemort. He let Sirius get thrown into Azkaban and take the blame for something that he did. He took away Harry's parents; he robbed him of a chance of growing up with them at his side. He took EVERYTHING from them. He took everything from all of us. So, tell me. What is there to talk about?

I am still so bloody angry at him for doing what he did. Every time that I remember it my stomach twists so violently that I don't think I can ever get used to the idea that he betrayed us. Things weren't perfect. I know they weren't, but that is not an excuse for doing what he did. We were a family. No matter what he thought, we were a FAMILY and he tore all of us apart. And why? For WHAT, exactly? So that Voldemort could let him live? So that he could live for twelve YEARS as a rat just to hide from being such a damn coward?

What am I supposed to write about? About how I can never forgive him? About how I hate him as much as I hate Voldemort? About how I would be willing to kill him just how I was that night at the shack? About how devastating it is to know that someone you trusted with your own life, and more importantly with the lives OF THOSE YOU LOVED, could betray you like that? I trusted him. We all did. He knew what his betrayal would do to us. He had to have known, and he did it anyway. We were happy. Merlin, we--

I look at them and I see what his betrayal did, and I hate him. I. hate. him. It's sickening, because he was like a brother to me. To all of us, but that was not enough. It is never enough.

There are no reasons enough for me to ever understand why. There are no justifications for all the things that he did, and all the things that his betrayal caused. There is just rage and heartache; there are years lost because of him; there are LIVES lost because of what he did.

I can never forgive him. Which is fine because I have no interest in forgiving him, but it never stops me from wondering why. I hate that question, but it is always there.

Why.

WHY.

I really did not need to write about it in order to figure that out.


word count: 448

ooc:

[identity profile] r-moony.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 07:17 am (UTC)(link)
Aww thanks! Remus is very touchy about that subject, as you can probably imagine. :X

Re: ooc:

[identity profile] thatevans-girl.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
Oh of course. And Lily is happy to know how much he cared about her and James.

Re: ooc:

[identity profile] r-moony.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh he did! Very much so. I think Peter is one of those people he would definitely kill if he had the chance because of what he took away from all of them.

Re: ooc:

[identity profile] thatevans-girl.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
Lily appreciates that. She doesn't actually know what happens in her future (Sirius wouldn't tell her), but she's grateful they have such good friends.

Re: ooc:

[identity profile] r-moony.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 10:33 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, if she ever wants to tag him she's free to do so. I have no problem with AU RP, or having different timelines, etc. :)

Re: ooc:

[identity profile] thatevans-girl.livejournal.com 2008-06-18 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw yay. She'll definitely do that sometime.