This post has from basic character information, to 'explanations' as to how (and where) Remus stands in some communities, to my own canon for him. It's basically just as a reference. Please feel free to point out any mistake that I could've made, or anything that I'm missing? It'd be greatly appreciated. <3

This is, of course, for mun information only. Unless it has already been discussed with the muse. ... You know what I mean. ;)

( cut for length 'cause wow I ramble as much as my muse sometimes. )

When the house is silent, and everyone else is asleep, sometimes Remus has trouble doing the same. Sometimes he just stays in bed, letting his mind wander away from him while listening to Sirius breathe. It's extremely comforting and relaxing to do such a thing, actually, and most of the time it relaxes him enough to get him close to sleep again.

Tonight, however, there is no such luck.

When that happens, Remus sometimes goes downstairs for a cup of tea and so he can read for a few hours. It's the insomnia that hits him every now and then, the one that gets impossible to get rid of from time to time.

Before any of that, however, he follows a different routine. He slips very carefully out of bed, he makes sure that Sirius is asleep and well before quietly making his way out of the room. The difference from the warmth he had been sharing with Sirius to the cold hallway always makes him shudder, but instead of going back he first makes a stop at Harry's door. From the threshold he makes sure that he's also sleeping, and that he is also all right before making his way over to Teddy's room. Teddy is always tangled in the covers as if a hurricane ran through them and trapped him in it, his hair wild and everywhere against the pillow, but he's peaceful. And he always looks happy while sleeping, so he just leans over and kisses his forehead as softly as he can. His baby, growing up. His baby, who is not such a baby anymore, but who's happy and healthy.

Feeling content enough that his family is all well, and not a minute before that, Remus finally makes his way down to the kitchen. He prepares a cup of tea, and he brings with him a book close to the fireplace so he can keep warm while reading. In a few hours he will go back upstairs. He will check on his sons once more, and he will crawl back into bed so he can try to get at least a couple of hours of sleep next to Sirius.

But for now he just reads. And he lets that content feeling grow and settle inside him, making him feel more at peace than he has ever felt.

"I don't understand."

The words were said so quietly that for a moment Remus wondered if he had to repeat himself because his parents weren't answering. They just sat there, mute, looking at anywhere but him. His mother's eyes were filling with tears at such speed that even if he was tired and hurting, he wanted to bolt from the bed and hug her at once. And his father, he looked so tired. So worn out, that it made it harder for Remus to understand. To truly comprehend why they were looking the way they were.

"It's good that you're awake and are doing so well, Remus," his mother had said upon waking up, "soon we'll go home and you can rest there."

"But there's something you need to know," his father had quickly added, "the injuries you received... You will--... You won't..."

Remus didn't understand. He couldn't understand what his parents were trying to get to, because hadn't his mother just said he was doing so well?

But then it all began. The explanations, the tears, and amidst all that there were still reassurances. Of how the healers would do all they could to make him better, how they would try anything in their power to help him. So he wouldn't have to suffer with a curse for long. So they could fix it. So they could fix him.

But Remus still didn't understood. He never understood why, or how. He just didn't bother asking anymore. Questioning didn't make a difference.

In the end, nothing really did.

While thinking of the answer to this question, I remembered how it has not been long since I refused to let myself really hope for anything. Hoping for too much was 'dangerous,' after all, and I was tired of getting hurt. I now realize that, back then, I was merely existing rather than really living, but I couldn't help it. Certain...events throughout my life conditioned me to think that way.

Now things are different, of course. I am not simply existing - I am living as much as I possibly can. And I can honestly say that I am happy as well, which is... Merlin, it is still a bit odd to say it outloud without dreading that the words might backfire on me, yet it is the truth. I am quite happy with the life that I lead now.

So, what exactly do I hope for?

I hope my son can lead a happy life. I hope he can grow up and not have to worry about wars, and betrayals, and that he grows up to be a good man. I hope the rest of my loved ones can be happy as well, because they all deserve it. We have lived through so much, suffered too many tragedies, to not find a way to be happy. They deserve it. We deserve it.

Above all else, I hope. I hope that the world that we all fought so hard to defend and that so many died for can finally live in peace. That there will be one day when we no longer have to worry about wars, and blood lines. Too many were lost for us to simply throw it away once more.

4. Ficlet: Beginnings and Endings: Write about either a beginning or an ending in your muse's life.

November 1, 1981


( You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase )

ooc: In the FM/TM 'verse, Remus is back (a year and a half after the events of the Deathly Hallows (but before the epilogue, obv)) and he's living with Sirius, Harry and Teddy in Grimmauld. And, since theirteddy really does use the word a lot, I actually managed to get the response to fit Remus. ;)


There were certain holidays that, if there was no one to share them with or to make them special for, it was absolutely pointless to celebrate them. For many years Christmas was one of them. Almost for that long, Halloween was also one of them.

Ever since that night when Lily and James were killed, Remus hated Halloween. Just the thought of it would make his stomach clench and his throat to dry up. He wouldn't think of candy or costumes; he would think of the day when his world shattered and fell apart. Their world, because it hadn't been just his the one that had never been the same again. Lily and James were killed because Peter had betrayed them. Sirius had gone to Azkaban. Harry had been turned over to his Muggle relatives. Remus had been left alone, and the reminder of the day was always something that pressed tightly against his chest. There was no running away from that particular fact.

Now there was a young child, however, that was looking at the holiday with fresh eyes, especially now that he was old enough to look forward to it. His son wanted nothing more than to dress up and collect as many sweets as he could. Whenever Sirius, Harry or himself would take him to a shop, without fail there was some new decoration that caught his attention, and seeing the happiness in his eyes made it hard to not at least smile along with him. The adults in Teddy's life may have been scarred for life on Halloween, but to him things were exciting, and bright, and new.

Or "awesome," as Teddy himself kept saying excitedly whenever someone would ask how Halloween would be this year. Remus had come to learn that, when his son would hear a word that he liked, he'd use it as frequently as possible. 'Awesome' was the word of choice lately, it seemed.

Halloween may not be Remus' favourite holiday, but he'd do his best so his son's could be as "awesome" as the toddler predicted it would be.

What place do you find most peaceful of anywhere on Earth?
With my family. Always.

What is your religion
...this one is a bit more complicated. I do not...have a religion, exactly. I do not consider myself religious.

Is it satisfying?
I believe it is, yes.

( the rest... )